Do you know the definition of the word “masochist”?
You don’t need to Google it, I’ll tell you. A masochist is a person who plans a multiple-store shopping outing with one or more children and does not pay attention to the amount of stops this excursion entails (I’m saying “person” but honestly, it’s usually a mom. But for the sake of world peace and all the dads doing their bit as well, we’ll stick to “person”).
For those of you who don’t have kids, let me explain. As much as we want our children to be safe and cared for, let me tell you – there’s a certain kind of pain involved in getting children to the car safely and buckled into their seats. Because a child is like a very busy and accident-prone octopus. If you have more than one child, congratulations, you are in charge of a group of octopi.
Now I ask you: If you had to take care of octopi, and had to go to multiple shops for various items, would you take the route of pain and make many small stops – which obviously included the loading and unloading of said octopi, several times? Or would you stop once, get everything you need in one place, and then exit again, sanity (sort of) intact… Karen, I think the answer is obvious.
Enter Centurion Mall. If there is something you need for yourself, or your house or your octopi, and you cannot find it at this mall, then you have very strange needs indeed. The discomfort of driving to different locations will be something of the past once you make the new Centurion Mall your go-to place for pretty much everything. It’s the type of place you’ll drive out of your way for, and also the type of place that many people are very happy to have in close proximity to their homes or workplace.
I have been going there for years, and have made many coffee/lunch/dinner dates and have never been able to visit all the restaurants available. Or even the shops, for that matter. I don’t shop often, but I’m really looking forward to experiencing the new mall and all the extras that have been added. I hate wasting time and I love ticking multiple actions off my to-do list all at once. Making the new Centurion mall your only necessary stop is probably the most fun or pleasant way to get things done if you ask me.
The best parenting advice someone ever gave me was this: when raising kids, take care with the really important stuff. And with everything else, take the path of least resistance. I cannot stress the value of this wisdom enough. Stop once, do what you need to do, and leave. You don’t have to go to a million different places and unload and reload your precious cargo in a never-ending loop of mutual frustration.
You don’t even have to think about it, it just makes sense.
Just one last thing: After several outings, hours of work, traffic, impending hunger and backseat fighting, I think it’s fair to say that the mental health of at least one primary caregiver is at risk. So why, during these very trying times, do most children insist on taking approximately 2 hours and 59 minutes to disembark at any particular stop? Asking for a friend who is convinced her kids will NEVER do that.
Ignorance is bliss. Happy days.